


What Happens in the Group Chat Stays in the Group Chat

by thouartavillain



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Connor didn't die, Evan broke his arm, F/F, Fluff, Group chat, Light Angst, Likely out of character, M/M, Mentions of alcohol, Teen Angst, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2018-11-15 00:29:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11219451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thouartavillain/pseuds/thouartavillain
Summary: Jared Kleinman decides it would be a great idea to start a group chat. His friends think otherwise.Basically it's one of those texting fics, cheesy usernames and all.





	1. In the Beginning there was Group¿¿

_**memelord0010** added **dearevanescence** , **ConnorMurphtree** , **xx_zoemurph_xx** , and **Alana.Beck** to **Group¿¿**_

**memelord0010** : if any1 can think of group names that'd be gr8

**ConnorMurphtree** : tf is this Kleinman

**memelord0010** : you tell me emo

**xx_zoemurph_xx** : Connor why is your name connormurphtree??

**ConnorMurphtree** : what's with the x's

**xx_zoemurph_xx** : .. I made this in middle school.. I can't figure out how to change it..

**xx_zoemurph_xx** : Wait you didn't answer my question!!

**ConnorMurphtree** : oh uh evan thought it was funny

**dearevanescence** : hheyyyyyy

**memelord0010** : my man hansen welcome

**ConnorMurphtree** : zoe come to my room i'll help you change it

**memelord0010** : kinky

**ConnorMurphtree** : kleinman i stg that's my sister

**xx_zoemurph_xx** : Oh.. I'm not home.. I'm at Alana's

**memelord0010** : why hasnt she replied

**xx_zoemurph_xx** : We're watching vines on her phone

**memelord0010** : vine is dead rip tell her to get on

**Alana.Beck** : Hello acquaintances.

**memelord0010** : wheres evan he was here

**ConnorMurphtree** : some of us have lives outside of this stupid group

**memelord0010** : so hes at your house I c what kind of stuff you guys getting up to ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**dearevanescence** : jjared leave connor aloneeee

**memelord0010** : I didnt know you guys had sleepovers

**memelord0010** : you could be cracking open a cold one with the boyz (me)

_ConnorMurphtree named the chat **shut up**_

**Alana.Beck** : I believe I'm on Connor's side.

**xx_zoemurph_xx** : Jared.. what do you normally do on Friday nights??

**memelord0010** : well uh. evan and I used to get drunk and yea

**memelord0010** : but then evan and connor and yea

**xx_zoemurph_xx** : Oh..

**memelord0010** : yea Im gonna go

**dearevanescence** : jjared wiat

**ConnorMurphtree** : kleinman do you want to come over

 

_**Alana.Beck** sent **memelord0010** a private message_

 

**Alana.Beck** : Jared, are you okay?

**memelord0010** : just peachy (◕‿◕✿)

**Alana.Beck** : You hate that emoticon. You ranted about it for twenty minutes at lunch last week. What's wrong?

**memelord0010** : nothing

**Alana.Beck** : Jared Kleinman, I took a Lying 101 class I know how to tell that you're lying.

**memelord0010** : you know how 2 over text?

**Alana.Beck** : No, but I just got you to confess lol.

**memelord0010** : wait

**memelord0010** : youre good you should teach me

**Alana.Beck** : Oh, I totally could! How about starting next Wednesday we-

**Alana.Beck** : You're trying to distract me.

**memelord0010** : really alana its nothing its stupid

**Alana.Beck** : If you're sure, but if you change your mind you can talk to me.

**memelord0010** : yea yea go back to your girlfriend

**Alana.Beck** : I'm sorry, what??

**memelord0010** : you know what I mean  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

_**memelord0010** sent a message to **shut up**_

 

**memelord0010** : uh nah I think Im gonna call my buddy Michael and see if he wants to hang

**dearevanescence** : are your sure?????

**memelord0010** : yea yea he lives in the next town over and I havent seen him in a while apparently his best friend was in a play and he was gonna fill me in idk

 

_**dearevanescence** sent **ConnorMurphtree** a private message_

 

**dearevanescence** : connorrrr I feel bbad

**ConnorMurphtree** : kleinman will get over it

**ConnorMurphtree** : why are you texting me tho just roll over lmao

**dearevanescence** : sorr sorry I justt got nervousss

**ConnorMurphtree** : evan look at me

 

_**memelord0010** sent **Alana.Beck** a private message_

 

**memelord0010** : okay I want to talk about it


	2. Middle Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theyp learn each others' middle names, Jared is sad, Connor gets mad, the usual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I included some headcannons of mine in this. Check end note to see which ones

_**Alana.Beck** sent **memelord0010** a private message_

 

 **Alana.Beck** : Okay, I'm here to listen.

 **memelord0010** : do you ever feel like you're not wanted?

 **memelord0010** : I mean ugh

 **memelord0010** : I made the group chat so we could all talk more yea we talk at school and we sit 2gether but

 **memelord0010** : I just feel so left out of things you have zoe and evan has connor

 **memelord0010** : evan was my best friend

 **Alana.Beck** : I thought you two were only family friends because your mom would pay your car insurance?

 **memelord0010** : ... that was a joke

 **Alana.Beck** : Evan doesn't think so.

 **memelord0010** : Im an awful person

 **Alana.Beck** : Jared, no. That's not what I'm saying.

 **memelord0010** : then what are you saying

 **Alana.Beck** : To be blunt, I don't think Evan knows what he means to you.

 **memelord0010** : but its not just evan you guys mean so much to me even connor murphy

 

_**xx_zoemurph_xx** sent a message to **shut up**_

 

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : How'd you guys do on that Hamlet test??

 

_**Alana.Beck** sent **memelord0010** a private message_

 

 

 **Alana.Beck** : Why are you just now saying this?

 **memelord0010** : I

 **memelord0010** : I didnt realize how much you guys meant to me until I felt like I was losing you

 **Alana.Beck** : Jared, we're not going anywhere. Maybe you should try making your feelings more obvious?

 **memelord0010** : youve probably noticed but I try to hide my feelings behind memes

 **Alana.Beck** : It's not good to bottle up things.

 

_**xx_zoemurph_xx** sent a message to **shut up**_

 

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Uh guys?? Hello??

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : The AP English Hamlet test??

 **Alana.Beck** : I thought it went well, but I sadly only got a 89.

 **memelord0010** : sadly? I got a 67 ಠ_ಠ

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : I got a 73 but I need to do better if I want to keep taking a senior level class!!

 **memelord0010** : howd you get in a senior class anyway

 

_**memelord0010** sent **Alana.Beck** a private message_

 

 **memelord0010** : thanks alana ill work on it

 **Alana.Beck** : You're welcome! I'm here if you want to talk about anything else.

 

_**xx_zoemurph_xx** sent a message to **shut up**_

 

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : I'm trying to graduate early!!

 **memelord0010** : why would you do that

 **memelord0010** : you wanna join the world of the undead sooner?

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : I have my reasons..

 **memelord0010** : are you doing it for your girlfriend ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Jared ((I don't know your middle name)) Kleinman!! No!! I don't have a girlfriend..

 **memelord0010** : andrew

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : What?

 **memelord0010** : my middle name its andrew

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Oh!! Jared Andrew Kleinman.. It's nice!!

 **memelord0010** : thanks wheres everyone else?

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Alana went to shower,,

 **memelord0010** : where are the emos theyre probably making out

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Really Jared??

 **dearevanescence** : wwhat no! we were we were talking!

 **memelord0010** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) sure buddy

 **dearevanescence** : zzoe I got a 91 on the the Hamlet tesst

 **ConnorMurphtree** : 98

 **Alana.Beck** : CONNOR MURPHY HOW?

 **memelord0010** : short shower

 **ConnorMurphtree** : idk tbh i really like shakespeare

 **Alana.Beck** : Wow, I had no idea. You always seemed to sleep in class.

 **ConnorMurphtree** : i learn better through listening ig

 **Alana.Beck** : You're an auditory learner!

 **memelord0010** : I gotta go michael is here ignore any weird texts were getting drunkkkk

 **ConnorMurphtree** : ig idk i read outside of class too

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Connor Jacob Murphy?? You read?? I thought all you thought about was weed.. lol

 **dearevanescence** : hhe reasd all the ttime

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Really?!

 **dearevanescence** : he he's reading stephen king rihgt noww

 **memelord0010** : WAIT MURPHY'S MIDDLE NAME IS JACOB¿

 **ConnorMurphtree** : what's it matter kleinman?

 **memelord0010** : it doesnt (◕‿◕✿)

 **memelord0010** : agh whyd I use that its so creepy

 **ConnorMurphtree** : go get drunk

 **memelord0010** : no no I wanna know every1s middle names

 **Alana.Beck** : Marie.

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Elizabeth..

 **dearevanescence** : lee

 **ConnorMurphtree** : lee? what was your mom on

 **dearevanescence** : oh uh it was it was my dad's ffather's nname ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **memelord0010** : Im writing these down

 **ConnorMurphtree** : wtf

 **memelord0010** : might come in handy lollol

 **ConnorMurphtree** : you're probably getting off to this freak

 **memelord0010** : whatever.

 **memelord0010** : night.

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Night!! Have fun with your friend!!

 **dearevanescence** : nnight jared I I'll call you ttomorrow

 **memelord0010** : thanks ev

 

_**Alana.Beck** sent **ConnorMurphtree** a private message_

 

 **Alana.Beck** : You didn't have to be a dick.

 **ConnorMurphtree** : i wasn't expecting that language from you

 **ConnorMurphtree** : but so what kleinman deserved it

 **Alana.Beck** : You've only been mean to him since he made this group.

 **ConnorMurphtree** : i don't want to be in his stupid group

 **Alana.Beck** : He made it for his freidns

 **Alana.Beck** : *friends

 **ConnorMurphtree** : why are you defending him?

 **Alana.Beck** : We had a talk earlier –really I should let him tell you but– it really hurts his feelings.

 **ConnorMurphtree** : wow life isn't all sunshine and rainbows

 **ConnorMurphtree** : i'm so sorry he had to figure that out the hard way

 **Alana.Beck** : That's nyo wgat I mdan!

 **Alana.Beck** : *not what I mean

 **ConnorMurphtree** : whatever goodnight

 **Alana.Beck** : Connor wait

 **ConnorMurphtree** : save it

 

_**dearevanescence** sent **Alana.Beck** a private message_

 

 **dearevanescence** : aalana did something hhappen?

 **Alana.Beck** : What Evsn?

 **Alana.Beck** : *Evan?

 **dearevanescence** : connor completelt sh shut me out. he sssaid he'd bbenn talking to youu

 **Alana.Beck** : Honestly? I don't know what happened. I was trying to

 **dearevanescence** : trying to?

 **Alana.Beck** : I was trying to fix things. Sorry, Evan, good night.

 **dearevanescence** : oh uh nnight

 

_**xx_zoemurph_xx** sent a message to **shut up**_

 

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Uh guys?? Is something happening??

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : hello?

 

_**xx_zoemurph_xx** named the chat **Friends!!**_

 

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Idk where Alana went.... She hasn't come out of the bathroom.... Night I guess....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcannons  
> Their texting styles:  
> Evan typos a lottttt  
> Connor has that all lowercase aesthetic but his grammar is correct  
> Jared does everything ironically. He's going for the lowercase aesthetic but it isn't perfect and he loves emoticons and replacing words with numbers when possible. He doesn't use punctuation at all  
> Zoe tries to not come off as cold over text so she over uses punctuation  
> Alana makes sure everything is perfect: her grammar, her spelling, and her punctuation.  
> In general:  
> Alana only typos when she's upset or worked up about things  
> Jared only uses punctuation when upset or absolutely necessary  
> Connor shuts everyone out when he's upset  
> Zoe lovesssss group chats and hates when no one talks in them  
> Evan always calls Jared the day after he gets drunk to make sure he's handling his hangover okay  
> Their full names:  
> Evan Lee Hansen  
> Connor Jacob Murphy  
> Jared Andrew Kleinman  
> Zoe Elizabeth Murphy  
> Alana Marie Beck  
> (I just thought these sounded nice, so these names are my own creation)  
> Side note: any typos are intentional unless they're in a username or chat feature


	3. Alana Beck Wakes Up Way Too Early

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crap goes down at 6 am when Alana texts and then Jared drunk replies

_**Alana.Beck** sent a message to **Friends!!**_

 

 **Alana.Beck** : Good morning.  
 ****

 **memelord0010** : bcek I stg its sxi am on a stadurdat  
 ****

 **Alana.Beck** : What, Jared?  
 ****

 **memelord0010** : IRS SIX AM

 **Alana.Beck** : Yes, it is. How observant. Are you still drunk?

 **memelord0010** : nononoonno my head jsit reallt hurts

 **Alana.Beck** : Are you sure?

 **memelord0010** : okkkk mabey a little drubk

 **Alana.Beck** : Is your friend Michael still there?

 **memelord0010** : ye he psased out like 2 huors ago

 **memelord0010** : atfer he ranted aouvt his crudh on jeeeeereeeemmmmmy

 **Alana.Beck** : Jeremy?

 **memelord0010** : Jeremy Heereeeeeeeee

 **Alana.Beck** : Who?

 **memelord0010** : he gose goes to thta shcool

 **Alana.Beck** : That school...

 **dearevanescence** : jjared how much did you ddrink?

 **memelord0010** : lollolloollo yeaaaaaaaa

 **dearevanescence** : jared?

 **memelord0010** : evab! my sweet bby brid my smol tree boyyyyyyyyy  
d

 **dearevanescence** : are you ookay?

 **memelord0010** : yyyeywya alalaana just wokeee me ulp

 **Alana.Beck** : I'm sorry I woke you up, but not all of us sleep in until noon.

 **ConnorMurphtree** : ugh

 **ConnorMurphtree** : i sleep in until noon

 **ConnorMurphtree** : what time is it?

 **Alana.Beck** : 6:28 am. I have to go to my cardio class, goodbye.

 **memelord0010** : cardoi?????????????????!!

 

_**xx_zoemurph_xx** sent **ConnorMurphtree** a private message_

 

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Is the door unlocked

 **ConnorMurphtree** : no? it's six am?

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Unlock the door when I get home

 **ConnorMurphtree** : is something wrong

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : No

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Yes

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : I don't know??

 **ConnorMurphtree** : did something happen with alana?

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : I don't know.. She was just acting weird this morning and, and it made me upset and I don't know why??

 **ConnorMurphtree** : oh little sis

 **ConnorMurphtree** : you have a crush

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Uh?? How would you know??

 **ConnorMurphtree** : have you met me?

 **ConnorMurphtree** : have you seen me around evan?

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : I KNEW IT!!

 **ConnorMurphtree** : shut up

 **ConnorMurphtree** : evan has to go so he's going to let you in

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Okay thanks..

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : How did you know??

 **ConnorMurphtree** : ugh

 **ConnorMurphtree** : you're making me talk about feelings? wtf

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Please Con? I want to know if you're right.. If I do have a crush on Alana..

 **ConnorMurphtree** : i guess there was all that cliché bs

 **ConnorMurphtree** : butterflies, i smile when he smiles, etc

 **ConnorMurphtree** : when he's upset i get upset

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Oh....

 **ConnorMurphtree** : okay this is awkward af

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Lol yea we're not good at this stuff..

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : I'm home,, Evan let me in and told me to tell you bye..

 **ConnorMurphtree** : :))

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : You're a sap lol

 **ConnorMurphtree** : he's so cute. i'm so gay

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Ugh I don't want to hear this!! Gross

 

_**dearevanescence** sent **memelord0010** a private message_

 

 **dearevanescence** : jared

 **dearevanescence** : jared do you

 **dearevanescence** : do you want mme to call you

 **memelord0010** : evabnbbnnnnnnn mah boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

 **dearevanescence** : hhow much did you drink

 **memelord0010** : enlugu

 **memelord0010** : wbligh

 **memelord0010** : wnough

 **memelord0010** : enough

 **dearevanescence** : no jare. how much?

 **memelord0010** : idk idk beers vodka uhhhhhh tequila? Whiksey!

 **dearevanescence** : tthat's so mcuh

 **memelord0010** : oh baby boyyy yuo worry 2 mych

 **dearevanescence** : I'm ccoming over

 **memelord0010** : nonninnononononono

 **memelord0010** : Im goingngng to skeep

 **memelord0010** : sleep

 **dearevanescence** : call when you wake up

 **dearevanescence** : pplease

 **memelord0010** : you ggott it captainnnn

 

_**memelord0010** sent **ConnorMurphtree** a private message_

 

 **memelord0010** : yooooiiiiiiii murph

 **ConnorMurphtree** : the gay ice skating anime?

 **memelord0010** : hahahahahhahahahha hhahhahahaha youre funny I lkie you

 **ConnorMurphtree** : kleinman how late were you up drinking?

 **memelord0010** : 4?? 5?¿ idkk

 **memelord0010** : but but buttt

 **ConnorMurphtree** : yea?

 **memelord0010** : have I evebe

 **memelord0010** : have I everv told youu howe mcuh yuo mean tome??

 **ConnorMurphtree** : kleinman? are you hitting on me?

 **memelord0010** : donnt get me rong murph your a pretey dudeee but nonkonnono

 **memelord0010** : youree evanssss bro code

 **ConnorMurphtree** : what

 **memelord0010** : oooppspsss hahahaha

 **memelord0010** : the funny thing?

 **memelord0010** : this is a sceret

 **memelord0010** : I I I I uswd to like evan

 **memelord0010** : evvy boyyyyy my boyyy

 **ConnorMurphtree** : you're gay?

 **memelord0010** : nooooooo pan

 **memelord0010** : Im more pan thab a pancakeeeee

 **memelord0010** : every1 is sooooooo hottttyyyy

 **memelord0010** : okaoso Im suppsoed to be asleep

 **memelord0010** : nanite

 **memelord0010** : dont tell evab I told yuo he loves youuuu

 

_**ConnorMurphtree** sent **xx_zoemurph_xx** a private message_

 

 **ConnorMurphtree** : zoe

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Connor??

 **ConnorMurphtree** : come here rn

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : No??

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** :What was that?? Did you just squeal??

 **ConnorMurphtree** : MAYBE

 **ConnorMurphtree** : just come here

 

_**Alana.Beck** sent a message to **Friends!!**_

 

 **Alana.Beck** : Hello, I've returned from my cardio class. The group has been strangely quiet.

 **dearevanescence** : hhi alana

 **dearevanescence** : yyea jared was still ssuper drunk and he went to ttake a nap

 **Alana.Beck** : Where are the Murphy's?

 **dearevanescence** : I I don't know

 **Alana.Beck** : You haven't talked to Connor?

 **dearevanescence** : not since I got hhome

 **Alana.Beck** : I haven't talked to Zoe either...

 

_**xx_zoemurph_xx** sent **Alana.Beck** a private message_

 

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE THIS!!!!!!!

 **Alana.Beck** : Zoe? I'll never believe what? Haha

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Jared drunk texted Connor!! And told him.. that Evan is in love with him!!

 **Alana.Beck** : He's in love with Jared? Poor Connor.

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Evan is in love with Connor!!

 **Alana.Beck** : Yes, of course.

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Isn't this great!?!?

 **Alana.Beck** : I see being oblivious is a Murphy trait.

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : what

 **Alana.Beck** : What?

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : You just said??

 **Alana.Beck** : Said what?

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Nevermind....

 

_**xx_zoemurph_xx** sent **ConnorMurphtree** a private message_

 

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : I'm coming back to your room

 **ConnorMurphtree** : ugh i just rolled a joint. i handle my feelings better when i'm high

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : I don't care

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Alana said something weird..

 **ConnorMurphtree** : as long as i can smoke

 

_**dearevanescence** sent **ConnorMurphtree** a private message_

 

 **dearevanescence** : hhey

 **ConnorMurphtree** : hi :) i'm helping zoe with something brb

 **dearevanescence** : oh... I I hope you're not upset with me ffor running out

 **dearevanescence** : I was wworried about jared

 **ConnorMurphtree** : of course not, kitten

 **dearevanescence** : cconnor?

 **ConnorMurphtree** : shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys have picked up on the Be More Chill references lol. Comments and kudos are beyond appreciated. I love feedback!


	4. What's in a Name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Evan discuss nicknames and Zoe changes her username

_**dearevanescence** sent **ConnorMurphtree** a private message_

 

 **dearevanescence** : no no no iit's fine I'm just cconfused?

 **ConnorMurphtree** : i didn't screw up?

 **dearevanescence** : how could you hhave?

 **ConnorMurphtree** : i don't want to mess up our friendship

 **dearevanescence** : oh oh yea the friendship of ccourse

 **ConnorMurphtree** : what?

 **dearevanescence** : I I didn't mind it

 **ConnorMurphtree** : didn't mind what?

 **dearevanescence** : you're ggoing to make me ssay it?!?

 **ConnorMurphtree** : evan you're confusing me

 **dearevanescence** : I DIDN'T MIND YOU CALLING ME KITTEN

 **dearevanescence** : ssorry

 **ConnorMurphtree** : oh really ;)

 **dearevanescence** : :o

 **ConnorMurphtree** : too far?

 **dearevanescence** : nno :))

 **ConnorMurphtree** : good, kitten

 **dearevanescence** : :)))

 **dearevanescence** : ssame, puppy

 **ConnorMurphtree** : okay no that doesn't work

 **dearevanescence** : YEP

 **dearevanescence** : you're certainly right

 **dearevanescence** : tthat does not work

 **ConnorMurphtree** : it's okay ev just breathe

 **dearevanescence** : no no I'm not panicking? I I'm nervous bbut it's different

 **ConnorMurphtree** : i'm nervous too

 **dearevanescence** : yyou are?

 **ConnorMurphtree** : yes very

 

_**dearevanescence** sent **xx_zoemurph_xx** a private message_

 

 **dearevanescence** : zzoe?

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Evan did something happen?? All I can hear is Connor squealing!!

 **dearevanescence** : he he's squealing?

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Are you guys dating?!?!

 **dearevanescence** : NO

 **dearevanescence** : ththough that wouldn't be a bad thing

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Awwwww!!

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Evan do you like my brother?

 **dearevanescence** : uh uh yes I think sso

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Have you told him??

 **dearevanescence** : no! wwhy would I? he doesn't feel the same... but I ddid tell him it was okkay for him to call me kkitten

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Kitten??

 **dearevanescence** : I I can just hear what jjared will say when I ttell him

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : And what's that??

 **dearevanescence** : kinky

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Do you think it's kinky??

 **dearevanescence** : nnoooooo!!

 **dearevanescence** : I think it's ccute

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Do you think Connor is cute?

 **dearevanescence** : hhe's beautiful

 **dearevanescence** : and and of course! ssince your his ssister you're beautiful too!! bbbut I'm not trtrying to ccompare

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : That's sweet Evan lol but I'm not insulted!! I know you like Con and not me.. Besides I think I like someone..

 **dearevanescence** : oh?

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : I'm not entirely sure but she's just amazing....

 **dearevanescence** : alana?

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Is it that obvious??

 **dearevanescence** : nno! I'm I'm sure it's not! I I jjust notice things

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Huh, that's funny....

 **dearevanescence** : what?

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : You're good at noticing things?

 **dearevanescence** : I I mean I ththink so

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Hmmm...

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : I gtg!!

 **dearevanescence** : oh bye!

 

_**xx_zoemurph_xx** sent **ConnorMurphtree** a private message_

 

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Oh brother dearest!!

 **ConnorMurphtree** : last time you called me "brother dearest" it was to tell me you scratched my car

 **ConnorMurphtree** : what?

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : I know something you don't!!

 **ConnorMurphtree** : real mature

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Evan told me something interesting....

 **ConnorMurphtree** : evan? What?

 **ConnorMurphtree** : evan told you something he's not told me?

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Oh I can't tell you!! He said not to!!

 **ConnorMurphtree** : zoe wtf

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Oh by the way?? Can you teach me how to change my username??

 **ConnorMurphtree** : wtf no? cut the bs and told me what evan said

 

_**xx_zoemurph_xx** sent a message to **Friends!!**_

 

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Can someone teach me how to change my username??

 **memelord0010** : ughhhh what time is it? my head is killing me

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : 10:54!

 **memelord0010** : I only slept 4 hours? I'm deader than harambe rip

 **dearevanescence** : zzoe click the little (i) bbutton

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Where??

 **xx_zoemurph_xx** : Oh I see it!! Thank you Ev you're the bestest!!!!!!

 

_**xx_zoemurph_xx** changed their name to **MurphSmurf**_

 

 **MurphSmurf** : Nah..

 

_**MurphSmurf** changed their name to **theBETTERmurph**_

 

 **theBETTERmurph** : :))

 **ConnorMurphtree** : change it

 **theBETTERmurph** : :((

 

_**theBETTERmurph** changed their name to **LittleMurph**_

 

 **LittleMurph** : This??

 **ConnorMurphtree** : eh

 **LittleMurph** : I can't think of anything better!!

 

_**ConnorMurphtree** sent **LittleMurph** a private message_

 

 **ConnorMurphtree** : zoe come on tell me what he said

 **LittleMurph** : Ask him yourself!!

 **ConnorMurphtree** : tbh i liked the old username better

 **LittleMurph** : Wowowowowow

 **ConnorMurphtree** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

_**ConnorMurphtree** sent **dearevanescence** a private message_

 

 **ConnorMurphtree** : idk if i like zoe's new username

 **dearevanescence** : iit's alright lol

 **ConnorMurphtree** : can we talk?

 **dearevanescence** : oh uh um I I'm on the phone with jjared?

 **ConnorMurphtree** : oh okay

 **ConnorMurphtree** : bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any suggestions for Zoe's username? I'm not feeling LittleMurph or should I change it back to xx_zoemurph_xx?
> 
> Updates are going to start coming slower. I'm leaving on Sunday to go to a five week camp. I don't know when I'll be able to update, but I'll try to get two more chapters out before I leave. Thanks for the reads, kudos, and comments! Much love!


	5. Rocks (Space Rocks)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alana contemplates life, everyone talks about sexualities, and the plan sets into action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll fix the formatting later I don't have time to bold and italicizes right now

Alana.Beck sent a message to Friends!!

 

Alana.Beck: Do you ever just think about how small and insignificant we are in the grand scheme of things

ConnorMurphtree: i'd be lying if i said i didn't

Alana.Beck: I was watching a video that showed how small we are by comparing Earth to other heavenly bodies.

Alana.Beck: It really struck a chord with me.

LittleMurph: Can you send the video??

Alana.Beck: Ah, I lost the original video. I found it on Facebook, but I found another good one

Alana.Beck: https://youtu.be/Usj6viU0AaI

LittleMurph: I'll go watch it!!

ConnorMurphtree: i don't feel like it rn

LittleMurph: Okay woaaaahhhhhhhh....

LittleMurph: That was insane!!

ConnorMurphtree: okay i'll watch it

ConnorMurphtree: ok that was good

Alana.Beck: I'm just going to think about this for a couple hours.

LittleMurph: You don't want to chat??

ConnorMurphtree: wtf something just hit my window

memelord0010: okay I dont get it you cuss so much in real life but not over text

ConnorMurphtree: something hit my window again?

Alana.Beck: Was it a bird?

LittleMurph: Dad checks Connor's phone and he lost his phone privileges for cussing before..

memelord0010: XD XD thats priceless

ConnorMurphtree: wth it's evan??

ConnorMurphtree: gtg

memelord0010: aw yes the plan has engaged

LittleMurph: Evan is throwing rocks at my brother's window??

Alana.Beck: That would make sense...

 

ConnorMurphtree sent dearevanescence a private message

 

ConnorMurphtree: evan what are you doing

dearevanescence: throwing rrocks at your window

ConnorMurphtree: that's some cliché bs

dearevanescence: oh...

ConnorMurphtree: it's also hella cute

dearevanescence: ccan you let me in? I wanted to ttalk

ConnorMurphtree: talk?

dearevanescence: yyes about us

ConnorMurphtree: us?

dearevanescence: yes just let me in

ConnorMurphtree: door or window?

dearevanescence: I gguess I can come through the window

ConnorMurphtree: probably better larry is home

ConnorMurphtree: wait no i'll come to you

dearevanescence: be ccareful, dear

ConnorMurphtree: anything for you

 

LittleMurph sent a message to Friends!!

 

LittleMurph: Idk what is happening!! I just went to Connor's room to spy.... I mean check in on him.... and he's gone!!

memelord0010: so school shooter disappeared

LittleMurph: Hey that's my brother!! Only I can make fun of him!!

 

LittleMurph changed their name to ConIsGayAF( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

memelord0010: I cant believe you just did that XD

memelord0010: I had my suspicions tho

memelord0010: glad my gaydar still works

Alana.Beck: Gay dar?

memelord0010: you know the radar all not-straight people have 2 pick up on other LGBT

Alana.Beck: So you're not straight?

memelord0010: oh Im pan #pride

memelord0010: I swear I told you guyz

Alana.Beck: News to me.

memelord0010: I told some1

memelord0010: I cant remember idk

 

ConnorMurphtree changed their name to ZoeIsBiAF( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

ConIsGayAF( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ZoeIsBiAF( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): don't start shiz you can't finish

 

Alana.Beck changed their name to Asexual.Biromantic

 

Asexual.Biromantic: Well, since we're sharing...

ConIsGayAF( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): Omg

memelord0010: okay I wasnt completely right on that 1

dearevanescence: uhh

dearevanescence: graysexual panromantic

memelord0010: known that 1 for years

dearevanescence: I ccame out to you ffirst jared

memelord0010: I know

 

ConIsGayAF( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) changed their name to ihateconnor

 

ZoeIsBiAF( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) changed their name to ihatezoe

 

Asexual.Biromantic changed their name to CanWeStop?

 

ihateconnor: Okay should we stop??

ihatezoe: idk i need to go

memelord0010: yea youre setting back the plan

ihateconnor: What plan??

memelord0010: THE plan

CanWeStop: Specifc.

CanWeStop: Oh wait, crap.

 

CanWeStop changed their name to Alana.Beck

 

Alana.Beck: I like consistency.

memelord0010: hmmmmmm

memelord0010: I have a feeling there might be a new couple in our midst soon  
ihateconnor: What???????????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy pride month! I had to throw in some ace representation since I fall on the ace spectrum.
> 
> Also guys I am so so so sorry I didn't post this sooner. I'm at a 5 week camp right now and it's really really busy but super fun. I've met so many cool people. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!


	6. These are the New Rulei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bit of grammar fun to tick Alana off..

memelord0010 sent a message to Friends!!

memelord0010: come on zoe youre not that stupid  
ihateconnor: .. .. ..  
ihateconnor: Connor?? And Evan??  
memelord0010: yes  
ihateconnor: Omg!!!!  
memelord0010: you cant tell me you didnt see that coming  
memelord0010: theyve been all over each other as long as theyve known each other  
ihateconnor: You’re right.. I just didn’t think about it..  
Alana.Beck: Okay, but deers are so cute.  
Alana.Beck: *deeri  
Alana.Beck: Deer  
memelord0010: no you had it right its deeri  
Alana.Beck: No, deer is both singular and plural...  
memelord0010: *deeri  
memelord0010: the plural of every word ends in i  
ihateconnor: Uh.. No??  
memelord0010: come on guysi you cant be serious  
Alana.Beck: No. You only use -i when a word ends in -us.  
memelord0010: this is simple grammar easy rulesi

memelord0010 sent a message to ihateconnor

memelord0010: come on play along

ihateconnor sent a message to Friends!!

ihateconnor: *guyi  
ihateconnor: *rulei  
Alana.Beck: This is wrong stop  
memelord0010: it doesnt just have to be an i  
ihateconnor: I know the rulei..  
memelord0010: it can be an s then an i  
Alana.Beck: us/er, i, o, um, o, i, orum, is, as, is.  
Alana.Beck: Thay’s how the endings are conjugated.  
ihateconnor: I think I know the regulationi  
Alana.Beck: ZOE. STOP.  
ihateconnor: Don’t Be upsetti have some spaghetti!!  
Alana.Beck: ZOE  
ihateconnor: Is a single spaghetti a spaghettus??  
Alana.Beck: I have no idea.  
memelord0010: jeez alana ur overreactionsi are getting out of hand  
ihateconnor: *overreactioni  
ihateconnor: Come on Jared!! Learn the rulei!!  
Alana.Beck: Spaghetto  
memelord0010: fine have it ur way  
Alana.Beck: It’s Italian, not latin.  
ihateconnor: But Italian comes from Latin??  
Alana.Beck: But the conjugation is slightly different.  
ihateconnor: I need new shoei....  
Alana.Beck: Zoe. Stop. Now. This is wrong.  
Alana.Beck: Also, did you know beef has a plural form?  
ihateconnor: But I love jokei....  
Alana.Beck: Beeves.  
ihateconnor: Beevei  
memelord0010: no its not youre the 1 whos wrong  
Alana.Beck: Beeves is the plural of beef.  
memelord0010: *beefi  
Alana.Beck: I AM NOT WRONG FITE ME  
ihateconnor: You’re right Jared!!  
Alana.Beck: I have taken three years of Latin and you DARE tell me I am wrong.  
memelord0010: thank u zoe  
ihateconnor: Do you take a lot of napi in your classi??  
ihateconnor: These have always been the rulei..  
memelord0010: most of the thingi i say r right u guyi r my friendi u should know this  
memelord0010: seriously alana  
Alana.Beck: No. Stop.  
Alana.Beck: My brain is melting right now.  
Alana.Beck: Guys. Look at this.  
Alana.Beck:  
(singular) / (plural)  
—  
cow / kine  
quantum / quanta  
consortium / consortia  
bacterium / bacteria  
sister / sistren  
antenna / antennae  
focus / foci  
basis / bases  
Alana.Beck: Some of them we know because we are smart people.  
Alana.Beck: But sistren?  
memelord0010: *insert picture later*

proof that you are wrong this is a grammar website one among many grammar websitei  
Alana.Beck: WHAT. THE. HELL.  
Alana.Beck: NO  
Alana.Beck: NOT POSSIBLE>  
Alana.Beck: send me a link  
ihateconnor: Oh!! I love that website!!  
memelord0010: i just showed you a picture is that not enough  
memelord0010: believe, doubting thomas  
memelord0010: #bibleroasts  
memelord0010: *roasti  
ihateconnor: Oh typoi the bane of my existence..  
Alana.Beck: You guys are giving me a heacahce  
Alana.Beck: *headache  
ihateconnor: *guyi  
Alana.Beck: I’m done.  
memelord0010: alana just learn the rulei  
ihateconnor: Yea!! The rulei are simple  
memelord0010: *insert other picture*

Alana.Beck: STOP

Alana.Beck sent a message to ihateconnor

Alana.Beck: Can you please stop. I have a headache.  
ihateconnor: From the joke??

memelord0010 sent a message to Friends!!

memelord0010: can you not read with your eyei the rulei are right there

Alana.Beck sent a message to ihateconnor

Alana.Beck: Yes

ihateconnor sent a message to memelord0010

ihateconnor: Hey can you stop..  
memelord0010: why  
ihateconnor: It’s giving Alana a headache..  
memelord0010: for real?  
memelord0010: wtf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet you guys though I’d forgotten about this fic.... well i didn’t I’ve just been kinda busy. I started dating my best friend that my other fanfic The Almost Kiss is based on. I found out I’m losing my job because they’re going out of business. I’ve had AP and college classes. It’s just been wild. I’ll fix the formatting later.

**Author's Note:**

> i read some really really great group chat/texting fics about yuuri on ice and be more chill so i decided to try my hand at a dear evan hansen one


End file.
